The good, the bad, and the just plain ugly.

One of my favorite General Conference talks was "Good Better Best" by Dallin H Oaks.  See here https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/good-better-best?lang=eng  It demonstrates how easy it is to loose perspective on what is truly good and beneficial and get side tracked or distracted on what only appears to be good and beneficial.  The other day I encountered a female church leader publicly berating another woman for leaving their church.  When she was finished she vocally patted herself on the back for being such a good little messenger of God by condemning an obvious way-word soul.  The spectators, however, rallied around the supposed sinner accusing not her but the church leader of un-Chrisitan behavior.  The leader was genuinely shocked at everyone's reactions, afterall she truly believed she was in the right and that her actions were not only justified but encouraged by God. This got me thinking about the different kinds of "righteous" behavior and I decided they can be pretty much summed up into three categories- The Good, The Bad, and The Just Plain Ugly.

The good-

During the time of Christ, the Law of Moses was pretty much the gold standard and was based on the ten basic commandments.  One commandment was to keep the Sabbath day holy.  I believe the original point, or spiritual purpose, was to take time to honor and remember God.  A day of reflection and gratitude for all that had been given and all that was to come.  Those following this commandment gained the blessings of feeling God's love and peace.  It allowed for a spiritual rejuvenation that aligned their hearts and minds with a greater purpose of love and goodwill towards themselves and their fellow men.

The bad-

Overtime, however, people became less concerned with how they were spending their Sabbath and more concerned about how others were spending their Sabbath.  Soon specific rules and regulations were created such as how many steps one could walk on the Sabbath and what kind of foods could and could not be prepared.  The Sabbath was no longer about a day of reflection and gratitude but a day of making sure you were doing exactly what you were suppose to and not doing anything you weren't.  It became very important to follow these rules precisely down to the very letter of the law.  Proponents of these strict rules pushed aside the spirit of the law in favor of controlling it.  They became obsessed with making sure they and everyone else were staying within the boundaries that were set.  Their hearts became hard- unbending and unforgiving.

The just plain ugly-

As if following all these complicated rules wasn't enough, some people felt the need to take things even further.  Apparently worrying about what their neighbors were doing wrong just became to easy and natural for them so they began to worry about what their neighbors thought THEY were doing wrong.  They realized, for example, that although the law allowed for a certain distance to be walked, a neighbor seeing them out and about might question if they were under the allotted threshold so it was best to just stay home entirely.  Then just in case their neighbors thought they were not actually at home, where in deed they should be, they would perch themselves on their porch displaying to the world their righteousness.  After all there would be no point in wasting a day at home if there was no one to see and later congratulate their perfect behavior.  Not to mention that from their porch they could more clearly spy on their neighbors in order to pass judgement on them later- preferably in public with a large audience.  Indeed to them the appearance of evil was just as bad, if not worse, than the actual act of evil (which in this case was breaking one of the rules set by the previous hard liners.)  Their hearts became prideful spewing disgust of all they found unworthy and beneath them.

Now we fast forward 2000 years and it's apparent that these various attitudes are not limited to members of a specific religion or even to religion at all.  These attitudes can be found in all people and in all aspects of their lives.  Below is a list of just some of things that make me either want to roll my eyes or punch someone in the face because lets face it- some are beyond ridiculous.

Parental discipline-

The good:  Setting boundaries and making expectations for kids that will help protect them and encourage their growth and prosperity.  Discussing with kids the purpose and motivation for the guidelines and helping them to be successful.

The bad:  Saying "no" for the sake of saying no.  Refusing to consider the individual needs and potential of each individual child.  Threatening a misbehaving child with a punishment that far out weighs the poor behavior in an attempt to gain submission.

The just plain ugly: Seating your family front and center at public events so the whole world can see just how perfect and wonderful they are, but not before scaring the kids with promises of a toilet bowl swirly to any child that makes you look bad.

Work ethic-

The good:  Employees and co-workers that are capable and willing to assess situations and do what it takes to get the job done in a way that benefits the company and the customer.

The bad:  Employees and co-workers that cleave to their job description like their life depended on it.  They are punctual, but refuse to stay late.  They are committed to their own duties but refuse to help out anyone beyond what was dictated to them when hired.

The just plain ugly:  They show up early and volunteer to stay late because it makes them look good- not to mention the added hours on their time card.  During the course of the day they either flutter around asking others how they can help or they find some big project to tackle like cleaning out the fridge in the employee lounge.  They tend to take a long time to complete these tasks and in the mean time, their actual duties are being neglected and often end up being completed by others.  They brag about how helpful they've been and when called out about neglecting their own duties they act hurt and under appreciated.

Modesty-

The good:  Youth are taught to dress in a way that shows respect for themselves and others.  Individual personality is not only allowed but encouraged all while emphasizing the importance of good hygiene/grooming and consideration for the activity or venue to be attended.

The bad:  School staff armed with rulers and measuring tapes at school dances.  Yearbook committees adding four inches of neckline to photos already cropped above the bust line.  

The just plain ugly:  Magazine articles scrutinizing the possible provocativeness and lewdness of a toddler in a diaper.  Anonymous letters written to young women by apparently super righteous young men indicating their up most love and desire but inability to act on said attraction due to the vulgar nature of her plain black leggings showing under her floral skirt- shocking! 

Public Commentary-

The good: Striving to consider multiple perspectives.  Speaking with a respectful, courteous tone.  Disagreeing as needed, but in a manner that is free of condemnation for those whose opinions you disagree with.

The bad:  Political correctness.  While empathy and respect is important, using political correct terminology can get out of hand especially considering it is always changing. Crippled, handicap, disabled, physically challenged- whatever, in five more years society will slap on some new term but in the end the fact is changing the label doesn't change how people are actually treated.

The just plain ugly:  Insincere public apologies by public leaders or celebrities.  People that feel that making personal public attacks are justified by either claiming to share a commonality with their opponent (i.e. woman denouncing feminists) or claiming to be an expert in the subject matter in controversy, or both.

While everyone has good and bad days in their behavior towards others, our general characterisitics are determined by the attitudes and beliefs we hold.  This means that regardless of what we claim to believe or even think we believe, our true beliefs are brought to light by our actions and treatment of others.